Day Nine Hundred and Fifty Six of Unemployment-Fifty and Unemployed

Response from Mystery Shop Application

I was pleasantly surprised to see that I got a response to the mystery shop application I had made two months ago. I had already written them off at this point. I had hoped that I could have gotten some shops before Xmas so I could have used the products for gifts but oh well.

I was just happy to get a response! I have been assigned one store which is in West Vancouver. That’s a good excuse for me to run there and back, too. It’s a really beautiful route and I haven’t run it in a few months now.

Ran Downtown

It was a rare sunny morning when I set off to run downtown. I just happened to see my sunglasses and at the very last-minute, grabbed them in case it was sunny and it was! That meant that it was also quite cold, too, though.

Whenever it’s a sunny morning, I always feel extra energized when I run. I think most people were happier this morning because of the presence of the sun and smiled back at me when I beamed at them when I ran past them. My pace wasn’t overly great but I was in too good of a mood to care that much.

Union Seminar

My acting union had a special seminar on how to live and work in the US. I’m not sure why I bothered going, because at this point of my life, I don’t want to live in the US. When I was younger and living overseas, I would have jumped at the chance. I guess I was just curious as to what the process was nowadays.

Back then, I had my heart set on working in NY as my last stop after working in several large overseas cities. I tried my hardest but I just couldn’t get the right job offer. I got one job offer but they didn’t want to deal with green card issues. My head hunter at the time said he would offer to marry me (the commission he would get was pretty high), half in jest, but I wasn’t that stupid. I reluctantly returned to Vancouver.

I was surprised how many actors attended this seminar. I was even more surprised to see how many who were my age or even older. I listened to the process it took to get a visa and it was way too complicated and expensive for me to even want to consider it. Not only that, I don’t have the qualifications for it either. The whole visa process has changed quite a bit since I pursued it over twenty years ago.

A lot of my older friends are snowbirds and spend half the year across the border. I have no desire for that life. I have too much here: a mortgage, a comfortable routine, free healthcare (just no job!). I’m quite content to just live here and just be a tourist whenever I want to leave.

Free Movie Screening

I went to a free movie screening at the central library. It was the documentary, Everything Will Be Alright, about the changing of Vancouver’s Chinatown. It was sold out. I had tried to go to the Vancouver Film Festival screening but it had also been sold out.

It was quite a poignant portrayal of the changing of a community. It’s gotten a lot of critical acclaim. It meant even more to me because I’ve always enjoyed going to Chinatown to eat or shop. I’m glad that I finally got a chance to see it.

Day Eight Hundred and Twenty Two of Unemployment-Fifty and Unemployed

Monday Labor Day

Today was the long weekend Monday of Labor Day. Here is another long weekend that is a reminder that I don’t deserve the holiday since I’m not working full-time. I felt a little depressed about today’s holiday particularly since it celebrates people who work.

Labor Day Picnic

I decided at the last-minute to attend the Labor Day picnic. My union will have a booth there. I went to it last year and had a good time and even ran into a few friends. I ran to the event last year but this year I have to take transit since it’s a lot farther.

I had considered running to this year’s location but I kept procrastinating until it was too late. The event would only run until 3 PM. If I had wanted to run there, I would have had to give myself at least two hours. I was still feeling a little tired from the last few runs so I hopped on transit instead.

Visited Union Booth

When I got there, I was surprised to see that it wasn’t as crowded as last year’s event. I saw my actor’s union booth and went to chat. I asked them if many people had come by and they said that not as many as last year.

I wondered why more people hadn’t come this year. In the company of so many pro-union people here, I couldn’t help but feel a swelling of pride of being a member of the union, even though I only worked part-time. I just wished that I could have persuaded more of my actor friends to come with me. After all we all reap the benefits of being unionized.

Short Run

I did manage to get a short run in today, to and from the stadium where the picnic was being held. If I lived in this area, this would be a great runner’s path, nice and wide with lots of surrounding greenery. There were a few people walking and not too many cyclists.

I managed to have a decent run albeit not too far. I ran with a faster pace since I knew that I would not be running that far. By the time I got to the station, I was winded and proud that I could run that fast.

Checking Wardrobe

When I got home, I decided to get my wardrobe ready for my costume fitting tomorrow. I was told that I should bring several options. They said that they would have several picked out for me as well. If given the choice, I’d rather use my own clothing.

I knew what colors to avoid, blue and grey, since I had asked which colors the actor would be wearing. They don’t want usually want us to wear the same colors. I wasn’t sure what time of year we’d be playing the scene for, so I also included both spring/summer and fall/winter.

I had to gather up all the different shoes as well. I didn’t know if I would be a traditional old-fashioned housekeeper with a specific uniform or if I’d be wearing a more casual look. I had managed to accumulate quite a few options. By the time I was finished, my suitcase was packed full. I was glad that I got this done so I wouldn’t have to scramble early the next morning.

Day Seven Hundred and Seventy Two of Unemployment-Fifty and Unemployed

Early Run to Free Yoga Class

I got up early for my weekly Sunday run to my free yoga class at Lululemon. It was sunny and bright but not yet too warm. I was a little late so I had an incentive to run fast, all out, in order to get there early.

I had a bit of a swollen knee issue but still managed to run fairly fast to class. I don’t know why my knee is like that because I don’t remember doing anything to it in the last few runs. It’s not sore enough to affect my running but I did feel some pressure. I’ve been relatively injury-free lately so I hope that this isn’t the start of something ahead of my trail race in two weeks.

The yoga class was full but I managed to get there early enough to get a spot and chill out a bit before it started. I did have a bit of an issue with my knee while I did some poses. Maybe that does mean that there is something going on with my knee. I’ll have to be careful and see what happens.

Met up with Friend for Lunch

I met up with a friend for lunch after. We used to come to this restaurant often but haven’t been here for a couple of years. I’ve known this friend for almost twenty years when we met at work.

She has been busy studying for a series of work qualification exams. Her husband is working out-of-town so it gives her a good time to study. Of course it’s not always easy to get motivated to study when it’s nice summer weather outside. Last year at around this time, I was studying for the Elder Planning Counselling exams and I remember studying once at the beach. It’s sort of sad that since I took that course, I have not made use of it.

Friends’ Housewarming Party

I was meeting some of my background performer friends at a housewarming party. One of them has just bought a beautiful house not too far from me. Obviously, they didn’t buy the house from their meagre acting income!

All but three of the guests were fellow extras. We’ve known each other and worked on set with each other for years. At most parties, I get all anxious because the inevitable question is, ‘so what do you do?’. But this time, most of the us have worked together. At other parties I’ll have to come up with some reasonable/creative explanation of why I’m not working at a full-time career position and it’s quite stressful.

Some employment search sources say that it’s good to network while in a social situation because you never know where you can get a job lead. That’s true to an extent…but I always feel self-conscious and anxious about having to explain why I’m not working, especially being unemployed for such a long time.

At my age, over fifty, some people think that either I make a lot of money from my acting jobs that I can support myself or that I am some how semi-retired and have a big pot of money hidden away some where. If that were only the truth…

Of the extras who were at this party, one has a full-time night job, one is a retired architect, one is a realtor, one is married and has somebody to support them, one is independently wealthy and does it for fun. And there is me…I’m the only one who is not independently wealthy or has a part-time job that can support me.

There was one friend who keeps urging me to apply for a financial counselling position but I have already been rejected twice. And by rejected, I mean, didn’t even get an interview despite having a resume that I think is ideal for the position.  She knows that they  are expanding and that now is the time to apply. She got me to promise to apply for one last time, third time’s the charm and all that, so I will think of this seriously.

Day Six Hundred and Thirty Three of Unemployment-Fifty and Unemployed

Sleep Problems or Olympics Schedule?

I had difficulty falling asleep last night and I’m not sure if it’s because of getting up early to watch the Olympics or whether I was just tired. In any case, it’s just frustrating being wide awake at 3 or 4 AM and then getting up at 9 or 10 AM and feeling like half the morning is gone.

Snow Continues

This morning was another overcast snowy day. I am wondering how much more of this we will have. Vancouver is not used to snow. We are more than used to rain for months and months, but a couple of days of snow and we get anxious.

Ran Downtown

I ran downtown because I had an acting union’s meeting at the UBCP office. I wasn’t too keen on running in this snowy weather again, after yesterday’s run to yoga but knew that I needed this run. I won’t be able to run tomorrow since I’ll be working.

The snow was falling but it was not accumulating. I had brought my yaktrax to put on my running shoes just in case it got too deep but I had no problems. My hip continues to heal so this run was at a fairly fast pace and relatively pain-free.

Union Meeting

Today’s meeting was specifically for background actors. They said that they would be discussing tax issues so I wanted to hear that. I saw a few familiar faces but there were a lot of new ones as well.

With new faces, there were a lot of questions that I already knew the answers to, so I zoned out a bit. There were also questions regarding child actors which is also not of much interest to me. The tax information was really general. I was a little disappointed, I guess I didn’t really need to come to this meeting. Still, it was nice to hear that there will be a lot of pilot filming soon.

Long Run Around the Sea Wall in Stanley Park

Since I missed my opportunity for a long run on Sunday because I was celebrating the Olympics, I decided to do it today. Our marathon training clinic leader had sent a map of a long run around the Stanley Park seawall. Since I was so close to there, I decided to go for it, even though it was still snowing heavily.

There is one advantage to running around the seawall when the weather is bad, it’s not that crowded. When the weather is nice, it’s packed, there are runners, walkers, strollers, roller bladers, etc. I hate that and avoid it at all costs.

Today, it was quite slushy and just a little slippery. I wasn’t able to run too quickly. I wasn’t able to wear my yaktrax either though because there wasn’t enough snow. The last time I had run this route, there was a snowstorm and I hardly saw anybody except the occasional runner and the dog walkers, they are out in all kinds of weather.

As I was running, I was thinking that maybe this was a stupid idea. Although my hip is better, what if I were to have a relapse and then I couldn’t walk, much less run? There are areas on the route that are difficult to get out of. On one side is the sea and the other, there could be a steep rock face. Luckily, I didn’t have a problem, but I did wonder how I could get out.

I was quite satisfied as I crossed the last bridge back to my neighborhood. It was still snowing and I was getting chilled. I couldn’t wait to get home. Once I got home, I noticed that my feet were totally soaked. My toes were all swollen like when you are in the tub for a long time. It took a while to warm up.

Email from Extras Agent

I got several emails from my extras agent regarding the shoot I’m booked for tomorrow. She kept us informed but we didn’t have any final details. We finally got preliminary details at around 10 PM. I knew where the shoot would be at least and it wasn’t as far as I thought it could be.

I finally got the final confirmation at around 11 PM. It wasn’t too early so I was relieved. I can get up at a reasonable time and get there. There is supposed to be snow so I’ll give myself plenty of time to get there.

Brother’s Job Application

My brother had sent me a few job listings on the weekend. I had started working on them a bit. Today, I got an email from him asking for help again. He had actually highlighted all of the things in the job listing that he could do. I had asked him to do this before in the past and this was the first time that he did this for me.

Since he had sounded a little desperate in this email, I stayed up late and worked on this particular job listing until after 1 AM. I was really tired but I knew that I would be busy tomorrow, so I had to get it done or it would be another two days before I’d be able to finish it.

I was happy when I finally hit the submit button in my email to him. The next morning I got a short, thank you from him. Which, if you knew my brother, was something. Usually, I get no response and it drives me crazy.

Day Six Hundred and Fifteen of Unemployment-Fifty and Unemployed

Coldest Temperature in 66 years

I woke up to sun but extremely cold weather. It was so nice to see the sun again. The weather forecaster said that we had broken a temperature record. Today was the coldest temperature on this day on record for 66 years. Of course, being inside, I didn’t really notice the cold. I didn’t even need to turn on my gas fireplace but I did.

The sun coming through my windows turned out to be enough to warm up my home, so I turned off the fireplace soon after. I’m such a wuss when it comes to cold like this. Although I grew up in one of the coldest cities in the world, Winnipeg, I find that I just can’t hack the cold weather any more.

Hip Pain Lessened

I felt a little encouraged because my hip felt better this morning. I almost forgot that I had injured it. I was feeling happy. Maybe I would be able to get back to running sooner than I thought I would! My Achilles tendon was still sore but that I can deal with when I run.

Unfortunately, that feeling would be short-lived. The pain did return not too soon afterwards. I was quite surprised that it would seem fine one minute and then be sore the next. I knew that I would not want to chance injuring it further. I would not be running today.

Met Up With Friends Again

I went downtown to meet up with my old childhood friend and her husband. This was their last day in Vancouver so we decided to meet up again for lunch. Although it was so cold out, we were bundled up enough so that it wasn’t too bad walking around. They live in Edmonton, so they are used to cold weather.

We went to Chinatown and Gastown for their last day here. Although they had been there before, this time, they would have me, as their tour guide. I even took them through the poor area, the downtown east side, which is close to those areas, to make sure that they got a realistic view of our city.

I took them to the coffee shop where they had finished filming a movie. I had worked on the movie a few weeks ago but had been set outside, walking back and forth. It was interesting to see what the coffee shop looked like inside.

They were quite interested in how I got into the film industry. It was really something that I just fell into, almost twenty years ago. There wasn’t a lot of filming at that time but I knew somebody who referred me to their extras agency. They accepted me and I’ve been with them ever since.

I think that they had this romantic notion of me being interested in acting and taking classes. My friend recalled that I had never even been in any plays in school, except for a grade six one I had written and directed. It is sort of funny that I didn’t take any acting courses until after I had gotten credits and become a member of the union.

If somebody would ask me to name my career, I would have to say that it would have been my years in the stock market or investment industry rather than in the film industry, even though I’ve probably spent equal amount of time in each. I wonder what that says about me?

Went to Memorial

After I said goodbye to my friends, I went to a memorial mass for a friend. He had passed away a couple of weeks ago unexpectedly. My friend had found him dead in his apartment and was the executor of the estate.

I didn’t know him that well but I had met him a few times. I was there more as support for my friend who had arranged this all. The last funeral I had been to was my friend’s grandmother, and I hadn’t met her at all. At least I knew this person a little.

As I sat there by myself, it made me do a lot of thinking. They talked about his career as an acclaimed chef in his earlier days and then recently as a fine books binder. It was apparent that he had passion for both of those careers. I wondered if at the end of my life, I would be happy with the choices I had made with my careers.

Worked on Retail Blog

When I got home, I worked on my retail blog for a short time. I am still doing only the bare minimum for a single post. I don’t know why I can’t seem to get in the groove with it and take lots of photos like I have in the past.

I really have to get more disciplined. I really should make a schedule of when I want to go to the next step of this blog and start to prepare selling in pieces. The days seem to go by so quickly. I had wanted to have been selling by now. I hate this procrastination.

Day Six Hundred of Unemployment-Fifty and Unemployed

Ran to UBCP Union Meeting

I got up early to run downtown to the actor’s union office. I agreed to be part of a focus group discussing the upcoming TV commercials contract which is expiring this year. I had answered a survey about what we, as members, wanted and decided that I would go to the focus group if I wasn’t working.

My extras agent who books TV commercials sent an email saying that there had been a meeting for them to be heard and that it was in our best interests to attend and be heard. Since I wasn’t booked on anything, I decided to attend.

I recognized most people at the meeting. It was good to discuss our concerns and to let the staff know what our views were. It’s an ever evolving industry, with TV, the internet and other social media. I was interested in the social media aspect. How do advertisers put out their commercials?

Although TV is still king (as far as reaching people, despite many of us fast forwarding them), there are increasingly more social media venues that broadcast commercials (and other entertainment for that matter). It used to be possible to delete the commercials before viewing something on the internet. Then, it was possible to delete them after watching it for so many seconds, but more advertisers are making it more difficult for people to do that.

As performers, we have to make sure that the contract reflects these changes. The last commercial I worked on was not even broadcast on TV, it was strictly on social media only. I only found it by chance when I saw a print ad of the main actor in a magazine which had a website, where I found it and saw myself. Did the contract cover an unlimited number of viewings on the website? If it is a TV commercial, they have rules about how much you get paid for the audience (local, regional, national, worldwide, etc) and for how long it runs. Is that covered in social media contracts? I wanted to know about this particular issue. It’ll be interesting to see what happens.

Visit to Canada Revenue Office

The tax office was right across the street from the actor’s union office. I had been there before over the years. I was shocked to discover a sign on the window that said that the office had closed in October of last year. I had hoped to talk to somebody about appealing my re-assessment. Now, there were only building security guards who could steer me to the signs that gave phone numbers and website addresses.

I was really disappointed about that. Anybody who has tried, knows how confusing and frustrating it is to do anything online with a government site. This only makes me more depressed about my financial situation. The re-assessment claimed that I neglected to report income, which I know is wrong, there’s no way I would not have noticed missing reporting that much income!

I brought a cheque and filled it out. I would pay the amount outstanding and the penalty now and then deal with it later. They could reassess me and credit me back. There is a large mail box dedicated to tax related mail. As I popped it in, I realized that I had forgotten to sign it! I was really upset about that! That means that the payment would not be received in time and I would get socked with interest and more penalties!

Visit to Service Canada

I went to the Service Canada office downtown to see if I could talk to somebody there about my tax problems. Unfortunately, they were pretty unhelpful. They just parrotted the same thing about calling by phone and going to the website.

It really annoyed me because the receptionist barely even made eye contact with me. She was like an automaton. It was like she just wanted to get rid of me as quickly as possible regardless of whether I got my answers. It really made me mad that this government employee was probably making good money and benefits at this job and was doing such a crappy job. She was probably in her late 50s, so just biding her time until she retired to a good pension. I wondered why I didn’t become a civil servant so I could have a cushy job like this.

Paying at the Bank

I had no choice but to go to my bank and pay my tax bill or it would be late. I was close to the bank that I used to go to on a daily basis when I worked at my last firm. It brought back memories of what it was like to be working full-time and how long it’s been.

Today, I noticed that it’s day six hundred of being unemployed. That and going to the bank where I used to visit for my old firm made me very sad. I rushed out before I saw any of the employees that I used to know, I didn’t want to have to talk about what had happened.

Ran Home in the Sun

I was feeling so unhappy and depressed that I could have fallen to the ground and start to cry. I could barely keep it together. I felt so stupid for not signing the cheque and I felt so stressed about my finances. This is a particularly bad month because I have this tax reassessment bill, my car repair bill, car insurance and my property taxes.

I considered taking the bus home but just walked until I felt better. It took a few blocks but I finally started a slow jog. By the time I hit the bridge, I was feeling better. I was able to shake off some of the sadness as I took in all of the scenery and fresh air.

Dropped Off Car to the Mechanic

I had to drop off my car to the mechanic’s this afternoon. I was warned the last time that I had a serious oil leak and it would be costly to fix. Usually, my annual repair bill is around $500 or so but this time, it will be double that, possibly even more. So I have that bill plus my car insurance coming up for renewal this week.

Ran Downtown to Free Movie Screening, Labor Day

I ran downtown for a free movie screening, Labor Day, starring Kate Winslett and Josh Brolin. Since I had such a stressful day, I wanted to be able to try to forget my worries and watch a movie. I didn’t have high expectations of this movie but it turned out to be exactly what I needed, a lovely movie that made me feel good as I left the theater.

Day Five Hundred and Forty One of Unemployment-Fifty and Unemployed

Ran to Free Yoga Class

It was yet another beautiful sunny day here in Vancouver. It was a little frosty on the streets, so I made sure that I was careful when I ran. I’ve had to miss the last two yoga classes so I was really glad that I could go to this class.

It was very quiet on the streets as I ran uphill. I didn’t encounter any other runners which surprised me a bit. I usually see one or two along the way. By the time I got there, I was quite warm. I had at least half an hour to cool down before my class started.

Packed Yoga Class

As I had expected, this class was quite full. I was surprised when they actually turned a couple of people away right at 9:30, the start of the class, even though if it were up to me, I could have squeezed in two more mats.

It was one of my favorite instructors teaching today. Many of my friends were at class today as well, so it was good to catch up with them. I thought that I might have trouble getting back into the yoga groove, but it was no problem at all.

At the end of the class, Lululemon announced that the class would start one hour earlier during the month of December since the mall was opening one hour earlier. Yikes! I would have to leave my house at 7 AM in order to get to the class in time if I wanted my usual run and cool down. Oh well, it’ll just be for one month.

Blood Pressure Check

After my class, I went to Safeway to check my blood pressure. I had chatted with my yoga friend for a while before going there so I had a normal heart rate and after an hour of yoga, I should have felt serene.

For some odd reason, my blood pressure was uncharacteristically higher! I took a second reading which was better and then a third, which showed back to normal. I have no idea why the first reading right after yoga tends to skew high?

Another Day of Cleaning My Home Office

I had to tackle yet another day of cleaning out my old home office. What I thought would be a couple of days has turned into several days. What is startling to me is that it has only taken a short time for things to become obsolete.

Besides the software and computer peripherals that have become hopelessly outdated and quaint, even the books that I have are pretty much worthless. I had bought several books on online auctions and home business for example and as I skimmed over them, found that pretty little of it was relevant anymore.

I found dozens and dozens of light bulbs. I remember when these bulbs came out, they were really expensive to buy in Canada so I’d stock up whenever I was across the border. In the years since I converted over, I think I’ve had to change maybe 2 or 3 light bulbs at the most. I have a lifetime’s supply of light bulbs and the problem of where to store them. I need to take them out of my office.

UBCP Awards Gala

I won a ticket to my acting union’s annual awards ceremony gala. There would be a red carpet and a dinner after the ceremony. It promised to be a fun evening where BC actors would celebrate each other.

I didn’t give much thought to what I would wear. I have several long gowns so I just decided that I would wear whatever I could fit into. The gown I had worn for my friend’s wedding just weeks ago was too tight. Damn all of those carbs that I ate this weekend!

When I got to the Playhouse Theater, it was packed. There was a crowd at the red carpet area. They had professional photographers taking our photos which made it exciting!

I met up with my friends and it was nice to see each other dressed formally. I ran into other people who I knew and we took lots of photos together. There was TV news coverage of the event as well and it was exciting to see the more famous actors (like those working on US shows) getting interviewed!

The awards show itself was well done. I did know a few of the nominees. My old voice over coach was nominated for Best Voice though he did not ultimately win. I also knew a couple of the best actor nominees as well.

They had an in memoriam section. I saw the smiling face of one actor whom I have worked with over the years. At the very end, was a photo of Cory Monteith. He had started out working in BC and was a member of our union.

Awkward Networking Attempts

I did run into a few fellow actors and voice over actors. Although I did not know them well, I did know them well enough to have a nice little chat. I was talking with them not so much as a social thing but more of a networking thing.

I saw my old extras agent who I had worked with for over 12 years. We got along well back then. He is now a voice over agent. I have followed his career from afar ever since.

He was at the awards ceremony because four of his clients were nominated. The first time I saw him, we looked at each other but he didn’t react to seeing me so I wasn’t sure if he saw me or if he didn’t want to talk.

Every other time I saw him, he was always in a little group. I didn’t feel comfortable approaching him. Finally, after all of my other friends had left, I decided to make an effort to talk with him.

After some general chatting, I mentioned that I had taken a workshop with one of his clients. Then, I asked him if he would consider listening to my demo some time. He hesitated and I felt uncomfortable. Finally, he said that he would listen to it but he didn’t sound that encouraging at all.

I have to admit that I was crushed with his reaction. I thought that we had had a good relationship before and thought that because of that, he would be more receptive to me. But, I didn’t feel that way. He kept getting interrupted by other people, too and I was left just hanging there, wondering if I should just slink away or if I should wait since we hadn’t finished our conversation. After he had to return back to our conversation a few times, I let him go and said that I would be leaving now.

On the way home, I felt so badly. I was so depressed. I hate networking at the best of times. I started to worry about how I would find an agent. I haven’t even done my demo yet! I wondered if I have just wasted my time and money yet again.

Day Five Hundred and Twenty Nine of Unemployment-Fifty and Unemployed

Ran to UBC Volunteer and Back

It was an overcast morning when I set off to run to UBC to volunteer this morning. I hadn’t run for almost a week so I was a little apprehensive of whether or not I’d have difficulty getting back into the groove of an uphill five-mile run.

At the beginning, I have to admit, I felt a little tired. I could feel some pain in my Achilles tendon but not enough to want to stop. I was determined to run, especially since I had taken off six days! Once I passed the first mile, I was back to normal and enjoying my run.

Recording Booth Observations

Since taking my first voice over class last week, I became more aware of my work in the recording booth today. Today’s textbook recording for a visually impaired student was on labor studies. Oddly enough, that was my undergraduate degree’s major. I don’t often read books in my background because I prefer to read something that I may learn from, like science or geography textbooks for example.

Although I’ve had years of experience in this recording booth, today I was more keenly aware of what I was doing. I was more aware of the microphone distance. I was also aware of the little noises that my clothing was making or even when my knee accidentally cracked! I tried to be more careful.

Good Run Home

The first five miles of my run really pumped me up and made me look forward to the second half. I was able to run faster and felt like I hadn’t even taken off six days last week. Enjoying this run made me vow not to take such a long break if I can help it.

Blood Pressure Reading

I took my blood pressure for the first time in a while. I didn’t have to worry at all because I got a low reading. I was a little concerned though because the lower number seemed really low, a lot lower than I had ever experienced before. I took it again and even a third time and it remained well under 80 (normal).

I always record every reading that I take. I’ll keep an eye on it and if it continues to be so low, I’ll return to my doctor. I am pleased that I am still maintaining a low blood pressure.

Ran to Voice Acting Class

I ran to my voice acting class tonight. The recording studio is quite close to me. I considered driving there since I will get out late, but then I decided that I didn’t want to have to pay for meter parking! Meters here run until 10 PM!

This was the third time I had been in a professional voice studio. My last voice over workshop included two sessions at another recording studio. This studio is smaller than the last one and the 8 of us squeezed into the room.

Our voice coach lectured for the first part and then gave us sample scripts to work on. Then, we would each have a solid ten minutes of recording and coaching. If we were not in the recording booth, we could still learn from the each others sessions.

I was given a coffee script. I mentioned jokingly that I would have to really act because I don’t drink coffee. The coach mentioned that she remembered a time when an actor admitted that she didn’t like beer and was let go of her beer commercial because of it. So for any auditions that I’ll ever have, I’ll remember that, I love everything!

She really pushed me to go outside my comfort zone and it was really invigorating. It made me confident that I could do other voices and characters! I really enjoyed this session and am looking forward to next week! I felt a little glimmer of optimism for the first time in a while.

Ran Home in the Dark

The class had finished at 9:30 PM. I wasn’t sure if I felt completely comfortable running at night in the dark. I try to make an effort not to run in the dark. My cheap side won out (I didn’t want to use a bus ticket) and I ran home.

Because it was so dark out, I stuck to the major streets. I wore reflective clothing because I know how difficult it is for drivers to see pedestrians sometimes crossing the street. I ran so fast that when I got home, my heart was pounding. Maybe I’ll consider this run my speed work!

Day Five Hundred and Twenty One of Unemployment-Fifty and Unemployed

Late Night

Last night, for some odd reason, I couldn’t fall asleep until after 4 AM. Despite this late time, I was able to wake up fairly early. I have to admit that I might have had trouble falling asleep because of the added anxiety I’ve been feeling lately.

Despite the long run that I did yesterday, the euphoria that I felt during and after it did not last. I felt a bit of a despair because I didn’t like what a contrast I felt from yesterday to today.

Cleaning and Clearing Day

I made a vow to do as much cleaning and clearing out today. I was not going to leave my home for anything. That did not take too much convincing because the weather has turned again, it was dark, overcast and drizzly. I had to have all of the lights on all day.

Nostalgic Over Things

I was able to get rid of a dozen sweaters with no problems. I was focussing on thinking about the homeless people who could use a warm sweater in this cold winter weather. I felt a little proud of myself for being able to get rid of so many.

But then, I started to go through my old t-shirts. I felt embarrassed that I have t-shirts from almost twenty years ago that I have not worn in many years. I started to get sentimental over them. Some of them represented all of the different places where I’ve travelled to. Some were memories of old squash tournaments or races I’ve run.

I knew that I was in trouble. Although the rational me can say that I would never wear these shirts again because they either didn’t fit or whatever, the sentimental and emotional me didn’t want to part with them. I had to set them aside for another time. I will work at trying to be practical before tackling that chore again.

Voice Over Reading

Tomorrow is my first class of my voice acting class. I have two books on voice over work that I took out from the library and was able to renew only one of them. So I spent part of the day trying to finish one of the books since I’d have to return it to the library.

Although I had taken a two-day voice over workshop not too long ago, this class will be 4 classes, 3 of which will be in a recording studio. I think that I will feel more confident after this workshop. I’m looking forward to the class tomorrow.

Deadlines

I’ve been thinking a lot about the progress of my job search lately. Aside from the financial stress that I’m facing, I’m also worrying that I am spinning my wheels and not forcing myself to make decisions about my life.

Here it is, already November. There are only a few weeks left before the end of the year! I admit that it’s affecting me psychologically. The end of the year… I feel as if I should have finished any decisions about what I want to do by now. But here I am, still looking at voice over work and also, a return to the financial industry.

I also have the deadline I’ve set for myself to get rid of my clutter. I know that once I’ve gotten that under control, it’ll be easier for me to concentrate on my career. I can only hope so.

Day Five Hundred and Four of Unemployment-Fifty and Unemployed

Woke Up Late

I had a good long sleep last night. I didn’t wake up until almost 9 AM! I was surprised because I usually naturally wake up by 7 or so. This is the second day that we have had heavy fog. I wonder if I slept in because I didn’t notice the sunrise?

I have been experiencing fairly good sleep lately. Last week, I felt so depressed and I tended to either over sleep or stay awake with anxiety. This week, as I start to feel more optimistic, I’ve found that I’ve been able to relax more and sleep more soundly.

Awards Ceremony Ticket Win

I received an email from my actor’s union saying that I had won a ticket for the awards ceremony in late November! I had entered a lottery for single tickets. Extra tickets cost $50. This promises to be quite the gala! I was happy to discover later that two other friends also won tickets so I will have people to hang out with. I know some of the nominees, too so I look forward to cheering them on!

Free Movie Screening Win

After being happy about my gala ticket win, I received an email saying that I had won a free movie pass to Robert Redford’s latest movie, All is Lost. I hear that it is Redford’s best performance of his career so I’m really looking forward to seeing it.

Closet Repair

My friend came over to help me re-assemble my closet. A few weeks ago, the rack had come off its pegs due to excessive weight. I wasn’t sure of how to repair it, nor did I really have the tools.

I had gathered up all of the hardware that had come off the nails and anchors and set them aside in a pouch. When my friend asked me for those pieces, I had no clue as to where I had put them. I looked all over and couldn’t find them. I finally remembered that I had put them in that pouch and found it.

So now I have my closet back and can start to put things back in it. I really want to be careful as to how I organize this closet. I want to get rid of as much stuff as possible. This presents the perfect opportunity for me to take a new direction. I may never be a minimalist but I can stop being a hoarder!

Checking Twitter for Friends

I decided to see if I could find some old friends and co-workers on twitter. I have to admit that I was a little surprised with what I found. For example, two friends who I had known in Tokyo over 20 years ago but lost touch with are both PhD’s teaching at universities. And they are also still married after 25 years.

All of the other people I looked up had exceeded my expectations of what they would become. I toy with the idea of following them on twitter but then change my mind. If I do, they will get notification that I am following them and that could initiate a reunion. I wouldn’t want to have them know my present situation, that being over fifty and unemployed.

Restaurant Revisit

I took out two of my friends tonight to the August Jack restaurant in my neighborhood for dinner. A few months ago, I had won a contest where I was supposed to get a special dinner and pairings for four people. That evening did not go well at all. We were all extremely disappointed. Long story short, management encouraged us to return to give them another chance.

We were reluctant to go but finally decided to try again. To our utter surprise, the meal went incredibly well! We all ordered drinks, entrees and a dessert. Everything exceeded our expectations. The food was incredible! We went from never wanting to return after our last visit to becoming big fans with this visit. This was such a treat. I hope that I’ll be able to become a regular once my financial situation improves. It’s just that good!